Scrolling Sobriety: Part III

Illustrated by Chloe Blair McMullen

Varenya Shrikant, a 22-year old from Chicago who regularly spends several hours a day on her phone, recently decided that she had had enough of the endless scrolling and digital stimulation. She embarked on an experiment to consciously avoid social media applications for a week…and track how she felt about it along the way.

The rules were simple:

1. No use of TikTok
2. No use of Instagram
3. No use of Twitter
4. No YouTube videos

The following contains Varenya's reflections from the last 3 days of the detox.

To read about earlier days, check out Part I and Part II.

Monday: A Walk to Remember

Illustrated by Chloe Blair McMullen

7:02 am: This is the fourth morning in a row that I’ve slept through the night without waking up once! And I’ve been feeling less anxious and overstimulated in the mornings. Small wins! 

10:12 am: Random note, but one wonderful side-effect of this detox has been that my mood just doesn’t get dampened as often. I’m not getting constantly hit with emotionally volatile streams of content, randomly. Doom scrolling is pretty crazy - the unbridled amount of negative, disheartening, sometimes even graphic content out there is endless. By constantly consuming random people’s content, we naturally open ourselves to their feelings, agendas, and intentions.

12:33 pm: Without social media, I've had to find other ways to take mental breaks at work. One of those has been reading articles on Lithub, this online contemporary literary magazine that I've been subscribed to for years. Before this week I'd never had time to actually read these articles… It's almost like my hours of scrolling were taking time away from activities that I actually enjoy and that add to my quality of life! Shocking.

5:05 pm: This is wildly ambitious, but I’m going to challenge myself to go on my daily walk without my phone today. 60 minutes of me, myself, and the sounds of Lake Michigan. No music, no podcasts, no snapping pictures of pretty scenery. Will I make it? Only time will tell… 

6:36 pm: I returned from my walk feeling empowered and weightless. That was so much easier than I thought it would be! I was able to fully enjoy the views of Lakeshore Drive, reflect silently on my day, and feel more connected to myself.

9:42 pm: I'm grabbing dinner with some friends, and we decided to place our phones face down in a pile in the center of the table to keep each other accountable for a truly screenless dinner. This is definitely something I'll be doing again. It felt so good to just laugh and be present with them in the moment …

I don’t think I’ve left my house without my phone in hand in years, maybe even decades. And honestly speaking, the moment I stepped outside of my building for my walk, I regretted the decision to leave my phone behind. I felt sheer panic -- What if someone texts me with an emergency? What if I lose my way and need a GPS to guide me? What if Rihanna announces ANOTHER pregnancy in the 60 minutes that I’m not on my phone?

But making it through an hour without consuming any auditory media was probably my proudest achievement. I allowed myself to truly unplug and unwind on this walk. Letting the chatter of my brain fill the silence between my ears, I reflected on my day and thought through some situations at work and in my personal life that needed my attention.

I’ve seen myself begin to practice so many good habits this last week, enabling me to be my most productive, creative, and peaceful self. I don’t know if all of it can be attributed to this detox, but with only 2 days to go, I'm determined to keep at least some of these habits even after reintroducing social media to my life. 

Tuesday: Gray is the New Black

Illustrated by Chloe Blair McMullen

8:39 am: You guys, I’ve been enlightened -- my friend has this cool automation on his phone where tapping the power button 3 times turns the display screen to grayscale. Allegedly, doing this reduces the dopamine hit to your brain every time you look at your phone, since the lack of pretty pixels on the screen removes the positive reinforcement of checking it constantly. Naturally, I’ll be stealing his trick today and seeing if it makes a difference!

11:10 am: I will (very begrudgingly) admit that the grayscale thing works. My phone screen is currently so nauseatingly anemic that I don’t even feel the urge to glance at it anymore.

12:40 pm: Today’s eerie thought of the day: I wonder whether phone addictions are really that different from addictions to harmful substances. Case in point, here’s an example of something I’d say when trying to justify my excessive phone use (prior to this detox) -- “I just need a break. It's not hurting me to watch a couple of hours of TikTok every day. I’m still getting my work done on time, aren’t I?” Tell me this doesn’t sound eerily similar to a defense that an alcohol addict might give. Aside from the obvious semantic differences between these addictions, they’re more similar than we’d like to think. The truth is that we’ll never really know how much something is hurting us… until we cold-turkey quit for a bit.

3:12 pm: Feeling proud! Today has actually been insanely productive. I spent around 2 hours in flow state this afternoon, which honestly rarely happens. I decided to make my desk “phoneless” this afternoon. Normally, I have it laid next to my desktop computer for easy access, but instead I tucked it into my backpack for a few hours today. The result? I didn’t feel the impulse to reach for it as much, and I was able to get through all of my tasks in seemingly half the time.

9:35 pm: Your girl has just finished reading her second book this week (A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab)! This is monumental for me -- though I try to make reading a habit, it’s been years since I've gotten through two books in a week. My reading sessions have also gotten a lot longer. I might just be getting my attention span back!

Willpower is like a muscle. To exercise it, you have to start small, build up, and delay gratification consistently. Maybe the reason why so many of us keep losing this battle of willpower to our cell phones is because we just… don’t have a better alternative than to scroll. 

Try and recall the last time you were so engrossed in an activity (other than work) that you didn’t remember to touch your phone for hours. What were you doing? What hobbies do you truly find joy in? Do you regularly set aside time to let your creative juices flow? Do you allow yourself to just have fun, purely for the sake of enjoyment and not productivity? For me, this looks like reading, writing, and working out. My detox has allowed me to reconnect with and reclaim pastimes that I'd honestly completely lost touch with, and I'm endlessly thankful for it!

Wednesday: Freedom! (Just Kidding)

Illustrated by Chloe Blair McMullen

7:09 am: Today is officially the last day of my week-long detox! For the last 7 mornings, I've avoided screens upon waking, and I've been able to mentally prepare myself for the busy day ahead so much more peacefully and productively. I hope I’ll keep up this routine tomorrow, when I’m back “online”.

7:55 am: I just got to work, and realized that I've consistently been one of the first people in the office over the past week. Without the need to scroll in the mornings, I've been able to get ready and head out the door sooner! I love having quiet time to myself before the office gets too busy. 

10:13 am: I’m realizing that I genuinely miss seeing my favorite creators on TikTok, and I'm excited to be able to enjoy their content again tomorrow! That being said, I want to make sure I consume consciously -- make an effort to only catch up on content from creators who I can learn from and feel good about, instead of letting myself mindlessly scroll. 

1:02 pm: While waiting in line for a midday coffee from the cafe downstairs, I noticed that every single person waiting in the queue was engrossed in their phones. I’m talking, eyes laser-vision locked on their screens. Sooo do you want to tell them to try a detox, or should I?

4:49 pm: New pet peeve alert: I’m tired of people glancing down at their phones or Apple watches in the middle of real-life conversations. Once you catch yourself doing this, you realize how often it happens -- and how truly disrespectful it feels. Like, I'm right here! You can respond to that text later, but this conversation should take priority.

7:15 pm: I just overheard the funniest conversation on my walk to Trader Joe's, and didn’t even feel the need to tweet about it. Maybe some things are best enjoyed privately…

8:42 pm: I'm currently enjoying what I hope won’t be my last screen-less meal. Being able to eat without distractions has truly been a gift. I’ve been forced to slow down, actually chew, and enjoy every bite. Embarrassingly, I used to not be able to remember what I’d eaten for lunch the day before -- but no more!

11:17 pm: Heading to bed after another long, but productive day. I was able to knock out writing 2 book reviews, doing my dreaded chores around the apartment, and a pilates session. It feels like I’ve gotten back literal hours of day since becoming unplugged!

The past week has allowed me to see what a distraction-free life would look like: peaceful, anxiety-free, and full of meaningful interactions with myself and those around me. I desperately needed a break from my screen, and I'm so glad I was able to get just that. 

But let’s address the elephant in the room: what happens tomorrow? Using social media is inevitable, and there’s no question that it’s given me so much. I use these apps regularly, not just to doom scroll, but also as a platform to research and learn about things in a short-form, digestible way (I may or may not have learned what a 401k plan is on TikTok). I use Instagram to exercise my creativity and create content, collages, and captions from scratch -- and yes, that brings me joy!

I think the key is striking a balance. Moving forward, I want my social media use to be a relationship where I hold the reins. I can use social networks to my advantage as long as I'm using them consciously and confidently instead of letting myself be consumed by them. 

The world is lesser without all of us fully present in it. If you’re also tired of succumbing to hours of scrolling on your phone, and you’re ready to give up this addiction for even a few short days, I'd encourage you to do so! Our energy -- mental and physical -- is precious and finite. Let’s stop giving it away for free to our screens.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” 

~ Annie Dillard

To read about earlier days, check out Part I and Part II.

Opinions expressed are solely the author’s own and do not reflect the views of their employer.